I can confidently say that 9 out of 10 times we already know what we need and what is best but we almost always end up making the worst decisions for ourselves because we adamantly desire to remain in denial.
Kosi almost jumped out of his seat. He was deep in thought, staring at his wedding picture on his phone when he got startled.
‘Hopie, I’ve said it times without number, you’ll be the death of me in this office.’ Kosi said, looking at her face, poking through the door.
There was a mischievous grin on her face as she walked in.
Kosi had always admired Hope. She was one of the few people whom he had gotten along well with when he first got employed at the Engineering Firm. They became fast friends and she was even a groomsman at his wedding. The memory of it all made him shake his head, it was part of the things he admired about her. Stubbornness. She had threatened to not attend if she wasn’t made a groomsman.
Everyone at the office loved her goofy attitude and pleasant smile, she was also very efficient and great at her job.
Without being asked, she pulled out a chair and sat facing him on his table.
‘For the past week you’ve been in a sour mood. We both know for a fact, it’s my business to pry seeing we’ve been friends for what…? 8 years?’ She said waving her right hand about.
Kosi looked at her piercing eyes protected behind dorky glasses and couldn’t resist a smile.
‘I can’t get anything past you huh?’
‘Why would you want to? Everyone knows I’m your side piece.’
Despite his mood he laughed long and hard.
‘I appreciate the gesture but I’m fine. Truly.’ He added when he noticed her expression had taken a serious tone.
There was short pause before their eyes slowly turned towards Kosi’s phone on the table. Hope remembered seeing him stare at it before she entered his office. They both reached for it at the same time. Unfortunately for Kosi, she was faster. Showcasing quick reflexes, she snatched the phone, ran to door and stopped, quickly unlocking the phone to see what got his attention. Happy that Kosi was in the habit of leaving his phone unlocked.
Kosi followed after her and snatched it when he got to the door but it was too late.
Hope turned to him, her eyes sympathetic.
‘It’s about Eva isn’t it?’
Kosi saying nothing, walked towards his office window behind his chair and stood there, looking at nothing in particular, his arms crossed at his back. Hope joined him. Neither said anything for some seconds.
‘You don’t need to shoulder all the pain. I won’t force you but just know I’ll be here if you need me to be.’ Hope finally said, when he refused to speak.
Kosi remained silent. Sighing, Hope laid her right hand on his left shoulder and gave it a little squeeze before quietly leaving his office.
He stood there for a few more minutes after Hope had gone. He touched his left shoulder and closed his eyes, appreciative of the gesture but unwilling to talk about it.
Leaving the window, he walked to the door to lock it, he leaned on the door frame a second more before going back to sit down on his chair. He held his phone in his hands, staring at their picture once more. Eva looked so beautiful in her wedding dress. She has never been a fan of makeup so her face was almost bare but there was a glow, a soft glow he had noticed about her from the day they met and it was evident in the picture.
They stood side by side, arms linked. Unknown to her, his gaze was fixed on her face when the picture was taken. There were so many pictures taken that day that he didn’t even know about this one till weeks later. The photographer didn’t print it but sent the soft copy to him. She looked so happy, so content. Was she still? Had he messed up at some point unknown to him? Had he forgotten their anniversary, her birthday? He sighed dropping the phone and spinning the chair to face the window. Resting his elbows on his thighs, he supported his head with his hands, racking his brain to think up a reason, any at all, but none were forthcoming.
‘Eva please talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, what you want me to do. I’m not blind to the signs but I just need you to communicate. Please. I don’t want to lose you.’
It came out unbidden, like a silent prayer but there was no reply, no comforting hug, no shoulder squeeze, just the silence of his office to keep him company as he continued torturing himself with questions.