A friend of mine walked up to me one humid Sunday afternoon in July, bearing with him a box which no doubt held something precious, beautiful and expensive. Within the scope of our conversation I discovered that his ex celebrated her birthday a couple of days before. She had blocked him on all social media channels and she was unwilling to be at least friendly to him after their breakup, which I learnt happened because she grew tired and “wasn’t feeling the thing anymore”.
As devastated as he was, he told me that her birthday would have been the second anniversary of their relationship. He had bought the gift months before because he planned to present it on the day. One question plagued his mind, prompting him to walk up to me and seek my opinion on the matter. He wanted to know if he could keep the gift, or if he would look foolish giving her the gift irrespective of the events of the past. What I told him, and what I’m about to tell you, is this:
A gift is a thing voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation, at least so says the Merriam Webster Dictionary. When a gift is given to the recipient, it is given because there is a desire on the part of donor to bequeath such item without any expectation of recompense.
When you give, it is expected that you “want” the donor “to have” such gift and keep it in his\her possession. That the recipient may not be on good terms with you afterwards, does not give you a right of seizure, to take it back.
If someone smartly played you and obtained some things from you along the way, the proper question to ask yourself would be: “Do I want him\her to have this gift?”
Remember that your desire in this situation is paramount. Anything to the contrary would amount to lying to yourself, which is the biggest mistake anyone can ever make.The Monk
Do you want to give? If you don’t, then don’t.