‘Lola fine! I’m sorry. I kept the truth from you. It wasn’t intentional. I was only trying as much as possible to protect you…’
It seems I have a bit of daddy in me or maybe it’s just the anger boiling inside of me. All I know is that I can no longer listen to Tosin’s ramblings. For the second time tonight, I am on the giving end of a slap.
‘Protect me from what? Hmm?’
I’m staring straight into his eyes. Gone is the fear I initially felt. The pain in my ankle seems to have faded as well as I slowly get up off the floor. Replacing the pain and shock from hearing all the information I received this night, is anger.
When Daddy threw me against the wall and I hit my head I wasn’t angry.
The day Daddy forced himself on me I wasn’t angry.
After Daddy starved me for a few days and made me sneak into a house in the middle of the night, I wasn’t angry.
When Tosin’s daddy hit me and made me do all those things to him I wasn’t angry.
Being hit by my Clients never got me angry. I steeled myself and took the pain.
All these years, I’ve felt sadness, pain, depression, resignation towards my situation but today, tonight, enough. Enough! Not any more.
My chest feels tight as though my ribs are about to collapse on itself. I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself but it’s not working.
‘Did you know daddy was my father when you approached me to fuck you?!’
I smack my hand on the table, my palm stings a bit but I ignore it. My entire being focuses on the two people in front of me.
‘Answer me damn it!’
‘Yes. I knew but it’s not like…’
I couldn’t restrain the laugh as it escaped my lips.
‘Oh! So you really were curious to know why your dad fucked me right? To know if my pussy was worth it right?’
The pain I see on his face seems to have become a permanent part of it tonight. Too little too late.
‘Well, was it worth it? Did it make you feel good knowing that the two men in my life fucked me up so well both physically and mentally that you also wanted to have a piece of me?’
I expected more pain, more regret, even silence but hearing Tosin laugh shuts me up. Considering everything that is happening, laughter is the last emotion I expect. It feels like someone doused me with cold water and I immediately move back a little.
‘Yeah. It felt good. I can understand why they did.’
My face reflects how I feel. The Tosin I’m looking at seems to be someone completely different. His look of pain is replaced with a smirk.
Isn’t this the same man that kept apologising to me? That begged me for forgiveness?
I turn to look at daddy and there’s a smirk on his face too. Being alone in a house in the middle of the night with two sketchy men is beginning to feel more and more like a bad idea.
‘I still remember that night. Many years have passed since that night I saw you lurking around my house through my bedroom window.’
He has this faraway look in his eyes as he looks up before looking down at me.
‘You’re so naive to think I would lead an absolute stranger into my house. I’m not stupid, of course I knew my father had weird tastes. I knew he loved little girls for whatever reason, they satisfied him. That night I saw you, an idea clicked in my head. I figured, if I brought girls to him, then maybe he would leave my friends alone.’
My tummy turns and I suppress this urge to throw up.
What am I listening to? What kind of twisted situation have I been in? Even Tosin used me.
‘It helped that you already wanted to go to my father’s room, all I had to do was take you there.’
My voice, I can’t find it. I’m unable to speak, to utter a single word as I listen to every word he says.
‘Those weeks, months, you were with my father were the best. I spent time with my friends and I got to play around with the girls a bit.’ He chuckled. ‘You know… to know what daddy enjoyed so much. Then I got curious, my father usually didn’t spend that much time with just one girl. They usually lasted for a week or two at most a month but you…?’
He shakes his head.
‘… he kept you to himself like a fucking trophy! And I’m thinking, “she can’t be that good of a fuck”.’
Then he leers at me and I feel my body shudder in response.
‘And after having a taste, I realised just how good you are. Even after finding out you’re my half sister, I wasn’t deterred. I really wanted to have you, it’s not like you’re clean to begin with so there’s no reason to hold back.’
Tosin takes a step towards me and I unconsciously shift back. He laughs when he notices.
‘Come on Lola, why are you running from me? You enjoyed it the last time. This will be no different and see…’
He points to daddy.
‘… we have a spectator with us. We can’t disappoint.’
My eyes go down to the bulge on his trousers and fear grips me.
He’s going to rape me! If I don’t do anything he’s going to rape me in front of daddy!
I take another step back and hit the kitchen counter. I’m quickly calculating the distance I have to cover in order to get to the door.
Will I be quick enough?
Can I reach it on time?
It’s as though he can read my thoughts and he laughs again.
‘Don’t even dare run away.’
He says this while bringing out a pocket knife from his trouser pocket.
‘I can’t promise I’ll be gentle if you do. After all, you need that pretty face of yours for work.’