The past will forever remain the past no matter how much or how long we beat ourselves about it. It won’t change. We must learn, instead, to accept the past, experience the present and apply both to the future.
Arguments Kosi had with Eva began to flood his mind…
The fight they had when Eva was assigned to Ebuka’s case and how he had refused to listen to her even when she tried to explain to him that she had no control over it.
The time he accused her of actually cheating on him with Ebuka when he had no proof that she was.
Each memory of how carelessly he had acted towards Eva came with an intense stab of pain and guilt about his actions.
‘Damn it! Why didn’t I listen or trust you enough? Why was I so quick to jump to conclusions?’
Ebuka who was still seated beside Eva looked up to see the tortured look on Kosi’s face. He could see how deeply his words affected him and shook his head before turning back to look at Eva.
‘You really chose him over me?’ He asked, fully aware she could not answer him and probably couldn’t hear him. It made him chuckle. ‘I’m not giving up on you just yet, mi amor.’ He said casually lifting her hand to his lips. ‘Just do your best to wake up.’
Distracted by his thoughts, Kosi was oblivious to Ebuka’s actions.
The night of the accident flooded his mind; How he had literally chased Eva out of their home, insulting her by telling her to go and stay with Ebuka. He touched his cheek, remembering the sting of the slap Eva gave him that night.
‘Ebuka is right! I pushed her away. Why did I say so many hurtful things to Eva? Why didn’t I just listen? Try to understand her?’
Without another word, Kosi walked out of the hospital room and into the corridor. He needed to sit down. The flood of memories made him feel dizzy. Finally finding a place to sit, he scrubbed his face with his palms. His memories accusing him, pointing out how deeply his actions had influenced the present situation.
‘But Ebuka goaded me! He came into my office that day just to spite me.’ He said to himself, an attempt to excuse his actions.
‘But did you have to fall for it?’ His consciousness seemed to answer. ‘The best Ebuka could do was poke at you, you’re the one that fell into his trap.’
‘Eva. Eva allowed him to touch her. To… to…’
‘Are you sure? Even so you should have allowed her to explain properly before coming up with your own assumptions.’
‘Was it worth having sex with your best friend? You are in no position to point fingers.’
Kosi broke down, cradling himself. His silent sobs racked through his body. He felt so conflicted.
‘Ah! Eva. My darling Eva. I swear I’ll be the best husband ever if you give me another chance. I’ll listen, communicate. I’ll do whatever, just please God please. Don’t take my wife away from me. Please.’
‘Kosi! Kosi! Where are you?’
Eva looked around, seeing nothing but thick darkness.
‘Kosi! Baby I’m here. I can’t find you. Please. Just tell me where you are!’
‘… va. Eva!’
She ran in no particular direction trying to escape the darkness but fell over herself instead. Tired and confused, she rolled herself into a ball. Her tears flowed freely and uncontrollably.
‘Where am I? What’s happening? Why can’t I see anything? Why am I here?’
The questions kept flooding her mind but there was no response. No one to give an answer. Just an oppressive silence that gripped her with an overwhelming sense of fear and confusion.
As Eva lay on the floor crying, a drop of water fell on her head. Shocked, she touched the top of her head and looked up, wondering where it could have come from. Slowly, she got up off the floor and the drops started falling more frequently until it became a downpour.
In an attempt to escape the rain, Eva ran. She had no idea where she was running to, neither could she see what was in front of her. All she did was run as the rain kept falling until she was completely and utterly drenched in it.
‘Kosi! Kosi please. Where are you? Kosi?’ She pleaded, shivering.
Seeing that she was heading nowhere, she stood at a spot when suddenly, a pair of bright yellow lights preceded by the blaring of a truck horn drew closer and closer to her at such alarming speed that she screamed in terror. It seemed to come all around her. She averted her eyes and used her arms to shield herself and just as suddenly as it came, it disappeared.
‘Kosi. Ko… si…’
‘Yeah baby, I’m here. I’m here.’
Eva shot out of bed. Her eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to make sense of her surroundings.
‘Whu… where… where am I?’
Kosi turned to face her, ‘Honey, go back to sleep. You were having a bad dream.’ He murmured sleepily.
Eva shifted her blanket and noticed her night gown was drenched in sweat.
‘But… but it felt and seemed so real. I was in this very dark place. So dark I couldn’t see anything but I could hear your voice. And you seemed so very far away.’
‘Kosi! You’re not listening! I was alone. You weren’t with me and it felt horrible.’
‘You know I won’t leave you, honey.’
Eva crossed her arms and turned to look at Kosi but he wasn’t there anymore. Confused, she turned around and noticed the room and her bed was gone too. Once more, she stood alone in the dark.
‘Eva? Eva is that you?’
‘That voice. It’s so familiar.’ Eva thought to herself as she looked around.
‘Ebuka? Ebuka is that you? I can’t see.’
‘Yes, it’s me. What are you doing here all alone in the dark?’
She jumped in surprise when she suddenly felt a hand clasp her arm.
‘Don’t worry, it’s me. I got you.’
Eva sighed in relief at the thought of not being alone but hesitated when Ebuka tried to pull her to himself. Noticing this, Ebuka added, ‘Come on. I know the way out.’
Sensing her reluctance, Ebuka pulled her arm, forcing her to follow him.
‘Ebuka wait! Where are we going?’
‘What about Kosi?’ Eva asked while looking back. Trying to see any sign of Kosi in the darkness but there wasn’t.
‘He’s waiting for you.’